Reconnect with You

It’s easy to get lost in the day to day to do list and errands, work, and relationships. When we feel disconnected we loose sight of who we really are and it becomes more difficult to connect with others. Our fire within us begins to dim. Our battery begins to die down and stressors start accumulating. It becomes harder and harder to fully show up with an empty gas tank. Refueling ourselves lights the spark of connection within us that keeps our fire burning. 

What is Disconnection

Disconnection can feel empty, numb, void of emotions, with little to no energy or passion. 

Why we Disconnect

Disconnection can occur when we get caught up in the day to day of our life without taking care of our needs. It can occur when life’s stressors begin to accumulate and become overwhelming. We can disconnect when we feel too much and resist or try to do away with how we feel. Our nervous system may experience trouble processing the sympathetic response, that’s the fight / flight and as a survival technique, that works very well for the short term, our nervous system can move into the dorsal vagal. 

In the chart above, following Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, you can see how we naturally move between the three parts of the nervous system, ventral vagual (safety), sympathetic (danger), and dorsal vagal (life threat). Sometimes if we feel too much in the sympathetic, the fight / flight, the nervous will move into dorsal vagal as a way to conserve and survive. Imagine the nervous system like a light switch dimmer, you want to easily shift from one state to the other, with ventral vagal ideally being home base. If we get stuck in dorsal vagal, hypoarousal, we can feel numb, shut-down, and dissociated. Although it might feel better than sympathetic in the short term and can help us get through what we need to get through, it’s not sustainable and can feel very lonely, like being the man on the moon.

The more awareness we can gather around our state of being, perhaps even by using the Polyvagal chart to check in, we can take care of our needs to see the signals that are calling us to make that u-turn home to reconnect.

How to Reconnect

By adding in daily habits and practices to reconnect with ourself we are more and more able to give unconditionally to others, from our work to our loving relationships. Use the list below and pick 1-3 to incorporate into your daily life as a way to refuel and reconnect with the most important person in the world, you.

1. Let yourself feel however you feel in this moment.
   • self-acceptance is the key to reconnecting. It’s ok to feel however you feel, this is a judgment free zone. I always like to imagine I’m sitting down for tea with a dear friends who is telling me about their life, there’s no judgment, only compassion and deep listening. Treat yourself as if you were that dear friend. When we resist how we feel, we tell our body / brain that right here in this moment is not safe and we need to activate the stress response to get to safety. By accepting, without judgment, the feeling as is in this moment we allow our nervous system to process and release. Listen to my favorite meditation to process difficult feelings.
2. Meditate
   • A daily meditation practice connects you with your higher self and boundless awareness where there is nothing to fix, judge, do away with, or change. All the pieces of who are you in this moment are allowed to be as is, while also stimulating and strengthening the relaxation response. Listen to this 13 min rejuvenating meditation to reconnect.
3. Create art
   • Express yourself through writing, painting, collage, or photography to name a few. Art helps us express things that can be difficult to put into words. 
4. Breathe deep
   • Breathwork helps to process difficult emotions, connect us with the present moment, and strengthens the relaxation response. Listen to this 6 min walking breathwork to reconnect.
5. Take yourself on a date
   • Be the person who loves you more than anyone else in the world.
6. Daily gratitude
   • Write down or silently meditate on 3 things you are grateful for every morning and notice how your perception begins to shift. Gratitude is one of the most profound practices that can change your life, as you begin to sense all that you already have in this one precious life. Start a daily gratitude practice with the 30 days of gratitude daily journal.
7. Spend time in nature
   • Nature is a beautiful reminder that we are always connected and supported by the earth. Rest in the forest, play in the sand, or take a walk down by a lake and tune into your 5 senses through this 10 min guided meditation to reconnect.
8. Declutter
   • Go through your home and donate anything that no longer brings you joy.
9. Move your body
   • Physically connecting with our body through dance, shaking, play, or mindful movement can help release tension and process emotions stored in the body while feeling empowered and present. Try this 28 min grounding yoga flow practice to reconnect.
10. Journal
    • Putting pen to paper is a great way to process emotions, check in with how you are feeling, process the day, and cultivate self-awareness. Below are a few of my favorite journal prompts to check in:
      • What’s on my mind?
      • What’s on my heart?
      • How do I feel?
      • What do I need right now emotionally, physically, and spiritually? 
      • How can I care for myself?
      • What am I loving right now?
      • What am I happiest about in this moment?
      • What am I proud of in my life?
      • What am I grateful for in my life?
      • What am I committed to right now in my life? 

Reconnecting with yourself create a profound ripple effect that impacts all those around you. We are more able to give freely and show up fully as our most authentic self, while taking care of our needs. The more you reconnect with you, the more you can give to the world.