April 30, 2022
It’s easy to get lost in the day to day to do list and errands, work, and relationships. When we feel disconnected we loose sight of who we really are and it becomes more difficult to connect with others. Our fire within us begins to dim. Our battery begins to die down and stressors start accumulating. It becomes harder and harder to fully show up with an empty gas tank. Refueling ourselves lights the spark of connection within us that keeps our fire burning.
Disconnection can feel empty, numb, void of emotions, with little to no energy or passion.
Disconnection can occur when we get caught up in the day to day of our life without taking care of our needs. It can occur when life’s stressors begin to accumulate and become overwhelming. We can disconnect when we feel too much and resist or try to do away with how we feel. Our nervous system may experience trouble processing the sympathetic response, that’s the fight / flight and as a survival technique, that works very well for the short term, our nervous system can move into the dorsal vagal.
In the chart above, following Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, you can see how we naturally move between the three parts of the nervous system, ventral vagual (safety), sympathetic (danger), and dorsal vagal (life threat). Sometimes if we feel too much in the sympathetic, the fight / flight, the nervous will move into dorsal vagal as a way to conserve and survive. Imagine the nervous system like a light switch dimmer, you want to easily shift from one state to the other, with ventral vagal ideally being home base. If we get stuck in dorsal vagal, hypoarousal, we can feel numb, shut-down, and dissociated. Although it might feel better than sympathetic in the short term and can help us get through what we need to get through, it’s not sustainable and can feel very lonely, like being the man on the moon.
The more awareness we can gather around our state of being, perhaps even by using the Polyvagal chart to check in, we can take care of our needs to see the signals that are calling us to make that u-turn home to reconnect.
By adding in daily habits and practices to reconnect with ourself we are more and more able to give unconditionally to others, from our work to our loving relationships. Use the list below and pick 1-3 to incorporate into your daily life as a way to refuel and reconnect with the most important person in the world, you.
Reconnecting with yourself create a profound ripple effect that impacts all those around you. We are more able to give freely and show up fully as our most authentic self, while taking care of our needs. The more you reconnect with you, the more you can give to the world.